12 Reasons Why you Should Eliminate the Blame Game from your Life
Our life is our own creation. The blame game destroys lives; not only yours but also those of everyone around you. Blame game not only doesn’t solve any issue but it will also create countless new problems in your life. That’s why should eliminate the blame game from our life.
Everything can be taken from a human but onething: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one’s own way.
– Viktor E. Frankl
– Man’s search for meaning
Following are the reasons why you should stop playing the blame game:
Your Life is the Result of the Choices you Made in it
A few days back I was at Gokarna, doing beach trekking. After 1 km my body was filled with pain at every inch. But what hurt me more was how I wasn’t able to do all those adventurous things which everyone else was doing. When I saw Om Beach was filled with those hot romantic couples, the old question inside me started showing up again – Why me? And I became sober on being forced to born as disabled again. Why I have been to pay the price for someone else’s cruel entertainment for my entire life?
That’s when my friend Geo started to randomly criticising me for not taking care of my health enough. At first, I got furious with him, for being insensitive. But then I realized that he was right. No one but I am responsible for experiences I am going through in my life.
We should stop playing the blame game primarily because we are always responsible for our experiences in life. Who you are or who you will become in life depends on your decisions. Our life is the sum total of our actions or the lack of them.
Tragedies are part of our life and we can’t be blamed for those tragedies. However, the responsibility for coping up with the tragedies is always our responsibility only. Like it or not, you are still responsible for the emotions, beliefs or actions you choose to attach those tragedies.
If someone hold on to a past trauma that means they haven’t changed since that event
– Joe Dispenza
Yes, there are people who suffer a lot from neurological or genetic deficiencies or diseases. This suffering is not fair at all. I know this because I am one among them. But it’s our responsibility to decide what to do with these conditions. It’s only up to us to decide whether we want to play the victim or choose to do something about it.
If the circumstances are not in your favour, go on and find a way to turn it into your favour. Don’t let where or how you born control your life. Instead, go on and control them. If you are not happy with the people around you, then go and fix your boundaries. Find the right people and place for you. Because your life is your responsibility, no but and no if. And that’s how you become the best version of your self in life.
Our life is not about what happens in it. Life is all about how we choose to react to what happens in it. We cannot control our experiences. But it’s our responsibility to manage emotional fall out of those experiences. Take a look at these inspirational quotes to get a clear idea of how our choices will define us.
The Blame Game will Make you Feel Helpless
I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul
– William Ernest Henely
By choosing to blame someone else for your problem you are making yourself helpless. Mark Manson, the author of the International Bestseller The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck, is of the opinion that the same problem can become a source of a powerful lesson or a painful trauma in life, depending on where we choose to put the responsibility for that experience. Mark says that life will become a terrifying experience if your preferences are forced upon you against your will. On the other hand, when we feel that we are choosing the problem we will feel empowered. Therefore stop playing the blame game to avoid the feeling of being victimized.
Taking responsibility for one’s own life will make you feel empowered. It will help you to find the right solution for your problems. The Holy Bible says that all humans are being called into the holiness of God. According to M.Scott Peck, this is the call to share the ‘aloneliness’ of God himself where there is none to blame for your life.
Accepting the responsibility for our own problem is the first step to solve them. The more you accept the responsibility the more powerful you will become in life. Blame game allows people to pass off the responsibility to solve their problems. M. Scott Peck calls it” choosing to eat the creme before the cake”. According to him, this is what makes our life difficult. Because this is directly opposite of delaying gratification. Because delaying gratification according to Scott Peck is the only decent way to live life.
The Blame Game is the Result of a Lack of Self-esteem
The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who droped it.
– Lou Holtz
The blame game is the result of a lack of self-esteem. On the other hand, a self-confident individual always takes actions. It will add value to their life. They always choose to do something about their situations. The blame gamers choose to do so because they enjoy the victimhood and the moral satisfaction arise out of it.
The blame game will destroy the self- esteem of your loved ones. If you put your children accountable for your misery in your life, they will grow up with a feeling of being worthless. To them, life will be nothing but meaningless.
Taking Responsibility will Help you to Learn from your Mistakes and Defeats
If you born poor it’s not your mistake. But if you die poor it’s your mistake.
– Bill Gates
It depends on us how we choose to interpret the meaning of an event. You can learn from your bad experiences by taking responsibility for it completely. Often our biggest pain can teach us our biggest lesson in life. taking responsibility into our own hands will make us strong enough to stop it to repeat in the future. Bad experience always asks for corrections, learning or improvement in life. Taking responsibility will result in real learning and real improvements.
The Blame Game won’t Solve Anything
The blame game is all about focusing on what is wrong in your life. Therefore, It wouldn’t change or improve situations. Rather it will make your life even more complicated, It will destroy your relationship and happiness.
The fault is past. Finding fault won’t fix anything. Most of the time people who you are blaming for everything will not have any idea about what you think they have done to you. This situation makes blame game, even more, meaningless.
No one is going to stay in your life forever. People and situations will come and go. A complete realisation of this understanding is a big part of becoming mature in life.
The Blame Game is the Most Dangerous Addiction ever
Why do people opt for the blame game after all? Because it gives them a false sense of moral superiority over other people. The blame game will help people to avoid problems or pain in their life; by giving them a false sense of reality. But this feeling of high will always force them to depend on the blame game; Whenever there is an issue in life. This is what qualifies the blame game as an addiction.
Like every other addiction, it will destroy you in the long run. But what makes it the most dangerous addiction though? Most of the people who are addicted to something knows that they are addicted to it. They may even agree that this addiction is not good for them.
However, the blame game is almost accepted as normal behaviour in our society. Therefore if someone tries to make them confess about it, they will never give in. It’s not because they are bad. but to them, it’s a very normal way of living life. To them, there is nothing wrong with what they are doing.
If You don’t Take Responsibility for your Life you will End up Passing the Pattern to the Next Generation
Your blame habit will not only destroy your own life but it will end up destroying even the next generations to come. First of all your blame game habit put a lot of self- doubts and self-judgement within your child’s mind. Such kids will always grow up with a limiting belief that the world is an unsafe place. They will believe that life is full of pain and pressure. Because that’s the reality you build for them.
Secondly and most importantly they will inherit your pains and limiting beliefs from you. Because kids don’t listen to you they rather do imitate you. Further to you what you are doing is the right way to you. Therefore you will either pass own beliefs system and thereby your pains into their life. in other words, they will just simply end up duplicating your life. Because for your kids, your ways are the way to follow in life. Therefore stop the blame game if you love your kids.
The Blame Game will put you into a Never-Ending Circle of Pain
Blame gamers always put their energy up on what went wrong in the past. When you create such a habit two things definitely happens. First of all, you won’t be able to see whatever is right or good in your life. All you feel and experience will be pain. Similarly, you are so focused on what went wrong with your life that you will end up saying not to all the opportunities in your life.
Why? Because based on the past experiences you believe, you know what the result is going to be and it won’t be a good one. You think that the past will keep on repeating itself for your entire life. Psychologists call this cognitive thinking patterns. This is the base for most of the anxiety and depression problems now.
What you seek is also seeking you. How you think will create your state of being or your reality. The blame gamers put their energy and thought on what went wrong and who is responsible for it. Dr Joe Dispenza says that when a person does focus entire energy on the emotions and events from their past; the person’s entire state of being is now their past. Furthermore, their familiar past will then create their predictable future too.
Taking Responsibility will Raise the Quality of your Life
Your happiness is your responsibility. Once you understand this fact you start focusing on raising the quality of your own life. Because there is no other choice in life now. This will lead to embracing of right habits. You will give priority to your health and eating habits. You will focus more on your personal, spiritual and mental growth. Deep friendships and time management will become the mantra of your life. All of this will eventually lead to rising the quality of your life.
Elimination of the Blame Game will Result in Self-love
As the right habits started to enrich your life you will start to love yourself more. It will increase your self-esteem. Once you know the results of this; you will end up learning more and adding more good qualities into your life. Furthermore, it will make you more honest. Because you know that acceptance of ignorance and our own shortcomings will help you to improve your self. You will also understand nothing outside of us can control our life. So you will start to accept your negative emotions and the source of it. All this will lead you a greater awareness and even greater awakening.
Acceptance of Responsibility will Result in Good Relationships
A deep understanding of the causes and effect of the blame game will make you a happier person. Now you know that life is all about you and your choices. Nothing outside of you can control your life. This understanding will turn you into a go-better. You will end up doing what you always wanted to do. You will stop complaining.
All of this will make you a trustworthy person. It will add to your integrity. And you will end up living your dream life. All this will also reflect in your relationships also. You will not only eliminate the wrong ones from your life but also will attract the right one into it.
Acceptance of Responsibility will Lead you to Forgiveness
Forgiveness doesnot change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
– Paul Boose
Acceptance of complete responsibility for your own life will make you understand that no one is perfect. We are all work in progress. Holding on to grudges will stop you from growing and moving forward in life. If we want we can turn all our situations into our favour. This understanding will help you to forgive more. Every person, situations or events are there to make you strong and nothing is here to break you. By holding on to grudges, you are holding on to the burden of past and other people action. This burden will turn your life into suffering. This will help you to forgive more so that you can liberate yourself from this burden.
What Makes Eliminating the Blame Game a very Difficult Process?
What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problem is a painful and difficult one.
-M. Scott Peck
– The Road Less Travelled
There are many factors which will make taking complete responsibility for our own life a very difficult process. First of all, in our society, playing the blame game is considered to be a very normal practice. People don’t understand the fact that having a difficult life doesn’t give you the right to make other people’s life into a mess. But in reality, your ‘situations’ are asking you to be more compassionate in life. Your inability to do that is the biggest proof for the fact that you’ve just wasted your entire life. Because you fail to turn your experiences into your lessons.
Secondly, people have a misunderstanding that fault and responsibility are the same. But in reality, they are not. We forgive so that we can move forward in life. Taking responsibility is all about taking control of our life into our own hands.
Thirdly, the blame game is an addiction. So when you try to eliminate it, you’re denaying your brain the chemicals which our brain is addicted to. Therefore our brain will do everything to go back to the familiar chemical conditions. You will feel that something is wrong with you. And this is not an easy situation to handle.
Fourthly and most importantly, taking responsibility means that; you have to fix your own boundaries. You have to say No to a lot of situations. Also, life will ask you to be courageous enough to say yes to uncertainty. Pain, loneliness and failures will be there. It will ask for discipline and learning. None of these are easy to handle. People will ask questions. You will end up losing some of your relationships too. All this will make eliminating the blame game a very difficult process.
Our life and its quality entirely depend upon the choices we make in our life. Even though we can’t control diseases or disasters; we can always choose how to react to them at all time. Therefore blaming others for our life is not only useless but also entirely narcissistic. The first step to solve a problem is to take complete responsibility for it.
If you put the blame on others you are making yourself weak by giving the power to change your life to someone else. The blame game is the result of a lack of self-esteem. It will also destroy other people’s self- esteem. Not only that it won’t solve anything blame game will turn out to be your biggest addiction ever.
The blame will result in more problem by taking your past into your future. You will also pass on this habit to your children. However, elimination of this habit will result in quality life, relationships, self-love and even greater awareness.