Life Lessons

How to Be the Best Version of Yourself?

How to Be the Best Version of Yourself?

Life is simple and beautiful. Really? Well, there can be one reason why you can’t get this into your head – you haven’t found a way to be the best version of yourself yet. First of all, we are here only to be the best version of ourselves. And if you don’t know how to do it, life will look like my grandfather, who was forced to eat a piece of pizza – life will become a meaningless puzzle.

It seems like there are mainly four factors which can stop you from being the best version of yourself:

  • Fear and lack of self-acceptance.
  • Negative and unproductive thinking patterns.
  • Death terror or our need to be remembered by other people.
  • Our tendency to look for outside validation.

Therefore let’s take a deep look into the twenty- two steps which will make your life meaningful by make you the best version of yourself :

To be the best of which we are capable of our religion must be a wholly personal one forged equally through the fire of our questioning and doubting crucible of our experience of reality.

M. Scott Peck

The Road Less Travelled

Self-love is the Ultimate Fuel in your Journey to be the Best Version of Yourself

I have had to step out of my self and not to see my self as Liz but as a member of the human family. All beings are worthy of forgiveness and acceptance entitled to grace.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Firstly, self-love is the base for the courage to acquire any major changes in life. Any process of change requires letting go what we have told ourselves as our identity. Changes always include continuous learning and unlearning. All this process is as painful as death.

Secondly, when you change your familiar thinking patterns, you are changing the chemicals reaching your brain. That’s why when you decide to question the patterns you have been given you will feel insecure, inadequate, worthless and even crazy at times. All this feels like withdrawal syndrome.

Thirdly, the highest form of changes are totally free choices and not act of conformity. We cannot predict where this path will take us. The journey of spiritual growth is so lonely and difficult that we will often become discouraged.

Self-love is the only companion which can keep you go through all this until you find out how to be the best version of your self.

Life Auditing

When this happens, after some self-reflection, she will discover who she really is, what she has been hiding and what no longer is working for her. This person stops expanding the energy she had been putting into keeping an illusory image intact.

Dr Joe Dispenza

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

Life auditing is a process where you use your metacognitive capabilities by spending time all by yourself and observing who you have been. According to Joe Dispenza, to create a new self and be the best version of yourself, first of all, you have to stop being old self by becoming self-aware. To become self-aware you have to become a self observer.

During life auditing, self-observation and meditation, your frontal lobe will shut down your thought about your external world and your self-analysis process. When this happens your brain waves will shift from higher Beta to Alpha or Theta. In this stage, we are more programmable. Because here we will enter into our subconscious mind which holds all information we had in our entire lifetime. Then our frontal lobe can Cobain all our stored knowledge and experience into a new model of reality.

Above all, to invest in the growth of something, you must first know it deeply and then love it without control and condition.

Keep Questioning Everything if you Ever Want to Be the Best Version of Yourself

You must be wrong about something if you are sitting there day after day. Until you are able to question yourself nothing will change

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

You cannot make meaning of life on the basis of second-hand values and rules for life. To be the best version of yourself you have to find your own values for life. Questioning will keep you unattached to superstitious and poorly informed values. This will help you to accept ignorance and it will promote a constant state of learning.

Acceptance of ignorance is the basis of knowledge and science. All the human progress are the result of one or more humans questioning process.

Eliminate Limiting Beliefs and be the Best Version of Yourself

Many of these beliefs and systems are dysfunctional and while the intention is that these ideas should guide us, in reality, they keep us locked into lives far more limited than what we are capable of

Vishen Lakhiani

The Code of the Extraordinary Mind

Limiting beliefs are nothing but a collection of norms, values, stories and patterns which you wrongly accepted from other people or your past experiences. In other words, limiting beliefs are second-hand values or wrong stories which are stopping your spiritual growth.

Our limited state of mind and self-limiting emotions are responsible for our automatic thought process and immediate responses. Our thoughts create our attitudes and it will influence our relationships with everyone and everything.

Life is all about finding an answer to the ultimate question of life - how to be the best version yourself.
Photo by Anny Patterson from Pexels

No matter what our beliefs are, we act and think in accordance with them. This is how your beliefs and thoughts together create your destiny. When you are not able to get rid of your limiting beliefs you are allowing your past and generations of ignorance to control you forever. That’s why eliminating them is an important step in the journey to be the best version of yourself.

Constantly Keep on Reviewing your Worldview

We adopt rules from our family and culture as the truth of the world. The less clearly we see the reality of the world blindfolded by judgments and misunderstandings, the more difficult it will be for us to rake an accurate and wise decision. We have to keep on exploring and analyzing all the new knowledge until our last moment. Because the world will keep changing no matter what.

Therefore, to be the best version of yourself, it’s necessary that we came to know the world as best as we can. Because our actions, behaviour and thoughts are based on our understandings. Even your understanding about what’s your best version depends on the number of new and accurate information reach in your brain.

Forgiveness is the Bridge Which will take from your Past to your Best Future

At this stage, it’s very normal that we may start feeling self-pity or grudges against the ignorant people around us. But the journey from here to be the best version of yourself will only move forward through the path of forgiveness.

According to Dr Joe Dispenza, if we recreate our past sufferings through our thoughts, the universe will respond to it by sending an event matching it. In other words, unforgiveness will recreate your painful past throughout your future. Do you remember we just discuss how your thoughts will create your life?

However, forgiveness will turn your so-called misfortunes into your lessons. And your mess into your message

Practice Gratitude to Grow Beyond your Environment to be the Best Version of Yourself

To fully break the habit of being yourself, say goodbye to cause and effect and embrace the quantum model of reality. Choose a potential reality that you want. Live it in your thoughts and give thanks ahead of actual events.

Dr Joe Dispenza

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

To be the best version of your version, we should look back and see how far you have come in life. This is exactly what Steve Jobs meant by saying fill the dots looking back. Focusing on either past or future will result only in anxiety or stress. You will behave poorly if you focus on scarcity.

Gratitude will release the memorized emotions and change your brain from a record of past into a blueprint for the future. Autosuggestion, gratitude and visualilisation are the only known tool out there to grow beyond your circumstances.

Keep on Learning to Avoid the Problem of Transference

Power may be defined as organised and intelligently directed knowledge.

Napoleon Hill

Think and Grow Rich

Knowledge is the stepping zone to experience. As you entertain your brain with new thoughts and knowledge, you begin to think differently. Brain’s ability called neoplasticity gives us the opportunity to create a new level of thinking pattern and new reality through continuous learning and unlearning processes.

However, the biggest question is what happens when you don’t learn from life? Well, the process of actively clinging to an outmoded view of reality in a psychological disorder called transference. And the result of this will result in violence and mental illness. The moment you stop learning you will close your mind. Ultimately, you will start losing your direction in the journey to be the best version of your self.

Facing your Fears and Pain is a Must to be the Best Version of Yourself

Turn your problems into a tool, your trauma into power, your problems into slightly better problems. That’s progress.

Mark Mansion

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Fear is the biggest form of our laziness the base of which is certainty and indecision. Avoidance of fear is the avoidance of life itself. Because it’s in meeting and solving problems that, life has its meaning. Facing fears will create our wisdom.

Facing your fears will teach you different ways to think and feel. Confident people are those who are ready to fail. Therefore, if you’re not ready to fail, you are not ready to succeed either. Facing your fears will generate confidence, courage and meaning of life.

On the other hand, denial of fears and pain will result in anxiety, neurosis and victim mentality.

Don’t give a damn about what they say

If you are influenced by the opinion of others, you will have no desire of your own.

Napoleon Hill

Think and Grow Rich

Our need for outside validation is the reason for most of our unhappiness and stress in life. Due to the need to fit in most people shut down their ability to question, they restrain from putting forward greater life goals, they develop self-doubts and lack of self-worth. The worry about”what will they say?” is stopping us from achieving our true potentials. Which will, in turn, take you out of the right road in the journey to be the best version of yourself.

But what is the reason for all these need to fit in? The system works on the base of this weakness of ours. Business and industry make it profits and religious setups base their strength out of people’s fear of criticism.

However, every society drives forth on the basis of its people who ask questions and operate at their true potential. If you don’t do it you are not only wasting your life but also not allowing the next generation to be their best version.

A Measurable Goal is your Real Milestone in the Journey to be the Best Version of Yourself

There is one weakness for which there is no remedy. It is the universal weakness of lack of ambition.

Napoleon Hill

Think and Grow Rich

Having a goal will:

  • Add meaning to your life.
  • Make the world a better place by eliminating outworn patterns and norms.
  • Open up a new path for others to move forward in life.

A goal will bring out our true potential by developing our frontal lobe and make proper use of our knowledge and experiences. It makes you grow beyond your circumstances by linking our actions with our knowledge.

Kill your Need for Perfection and Eliminate Procrastination

I believe inspiration will always try it’s best to work with you. But if you are not ready or available, it may indeed choose to leave you and choose a different human collaborator.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Here the writer is talking about a natural phenomenon called “Multiple discoveries.” Without faith and action, all the dreams and talent in the world is worthless. Procrastination is the result of a lack of courage and confidence. It’s the biggest enemy of progress.

Researchers, say that convergent part of our brain is judging and stopping us all the time whenever you try to do something which is innovative or creative. This judging is stopping the creative genius part of our brain. Self-judging is the result of our outdated education system and our past negative experiences.

Whereas intuitions, visions and insights came to us from a higher collective mind or our own subconscious mind. It is looking for conscious, open and action-based minds to collaborate towards the betterment of itself and that of the world. This collective mind works through dreams, slip of tongue or idle thoughts.

Drow your Boundaries and Fix your Preferences

Learn to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively. Learn how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not.

Mark Mansion

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Our priorities influence our decision making choices in life. Prioritizing is all about knowing who you are and what you want to be and focusing on it.

Expertizing requires you to dedicate a lot of focused time and energy on the chosen subject. Whereas ” paradox of choice” leads to less action and lot of confusion.

Therefore, deliberately seek the company of people who are forward-looking and who encourage you to be the best version of your self. That’s why Napoleon Hill is a big advocated of the mastermind principle. He believed everyone needs the corporation of the right-minded team to build a great future.

To be the Best Version of Yourself- it’s a Must to Understand that Time and Age is an Illusion

I don’t live either in my past or future. I am interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present you will be a happy man.

Paulo Coelho

Industrial Revolution and Capitalism are behind the myth called “The Right Time”. The industrial revolution and the education system, which is ‘the laboratory of capitalism’, teach us to adapt to time.

Because if you focus on life, you will know that life is only about now and what you do with it. Once you know this, you will become happy and self – sufficient. And there’s nothing more dangerous to capitalism than self- sufficient happy human beings.

Therefore, Capitalism creates ‘the right time for everything.’ They keep everyone in the loom of artificial demand by forcing us to believe that there is a right time for everything.

However, your right time is, when you are ready for it. According to Napoleon Hill, man’s most productive years are between 40 to 60.

“Know they self” first and Go on to Be the Best Version of Yourself

The key to happiness is to know the truth about yourself to understand who or what you really are.

Yuval Noah Harari


The easiest way to know who we are is to know who we are not. Don’t identify your self with your thoughts, likes, dislikes or your feelings. You are not any of it rather you are the master of all of it. Your attention will be on where you put your energy. That’s why it’s important to ‘know they self’. The development of consciousness is the process of the unconscious mind coming into synchrony with the conscious mind.

To create something new, you have to be self- aware.

Spiritual power is the capacity to make decisions with maximum awareness and maintaining the same ability throughout life.

Use of Imagination is the Doorstep to be the Best Version of Yourself

Imagination is the key to wisdom. Awareness opens the door to imagination. Man can create anything he can imagine.

Genius is a man who has discovered how to increase the intensity of thought to the point where he can feel and communicate with sources of knowledge not available through the ordinary rate of thoughts.

Napoleon Hill

According to Napoleon Hill, imagination is the sixth sense through which ideas or plans flash through your mind. That’s why I told you earlier that ‘ it’s now or never ‘.

Persistence is the Life-Breath to Success

It’s not we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It is what we do constantly.

Tony Robbins

The habit of success is created through persistence. Commitment and persistence derived from a clear sense of vision are what is going to keep you going when it feels like nothing is working for you.

In order to develop any new skills or habits, according to Joe Dispenza, you have to practice it until it becomes your second nature.

Defeats call for persistence because defeats are the result of lack of knowledge or defective planning.

Something better always calls for persistence, patience, self- conference.

Walk out of your Confort Zone

According to Dr Joe Dispenza, experience enriches the brain even further than knowledge. To him, if experiences are the same, no new information is reaching your brain and chemical signals and your feelings will repete itself on the bases of your past experiences.

Uncertainty is the root of progress. New experiences can teach us how people can live happily even without knowing about things which are called as a ‘must’ to taste success in life.

Walking out of your comfort will teach you how to turn your weaknesses into your strength. It will teach you to take responsibility and find your own answers. In other words, it will teach you to be the best version of your self.

Stop Chasing Love

If being loved is your goal, you will fail to achieve it. The only way to be assured of being loved is to be a person worthy of love, and you can’t be a person worthy of love when your primary goal in life is to passively loved.

The Road Less Travelled

According to Napoleon Hill, the desire for sexual expression, when harnessed and transmuted into action other than physical expression may rise to great accomplishments. Because according to him, sex is by far the strongest of all human emotions.

Sexual energy is the highest form of mental stimuli and it increases the intensity of thoughts.

Therefore, you must learn to control and use our sexual emotions with discrimination.

Legacy is the Biggest Enemy of Anyone Who Wants to Be the Best Version of Themselves

All human beings are suffering from prolonging existential anxiety. Due to this most us want to exist forever. We try to achieve it by teaching our values to others especially our kids.

However, the problem here is that we all are always wrong. Our facts and truth will be the only the same till someone else proves them to be wrong.

More than that, when we try to teach others our values, we are denying them the chance to be their best version. Because by doing so, we are living them to live our life based on our values.

Above all, most one of us never get the chance to be our best version. Because we are living the life of other people based on their values in the first place.

Be the Best of Yourself by Adding Meaning to your Life

Sacred nature of humanity resides within each and every individual. This inner core of individual humans gives meaning to the world.

Yuval Noah Harari


The worst feeling there is a feeling of worthlessness. Victor Frankel, the founder of Logo Therapy, believed that there is no particular meaning for life as a whole. Meaning of life changes from moment to moment and person to person.

Our values and meaning-making mechanism makes life a meaningful one or vice-versa.

We give our suffering meanings by the way we respond to it. That’s what makes the difference between who you are – a confused entity or a path breaker in life.

Surrender Yourself to the Universe

Solutions to all your dilemma can found once you start to look within. Quantum physics says that we must change the way we, act, think and feel. Because our thoughts create our feelings and they, in turn, create our responds and reality.

when we learn to understand things in life as they are without craving, there are no sufferings.


What will happen if you don’t find an answer to the question – How to be the best version of yourself? You will end up live like a chicken in spite of being born as an eagle your self.

The journey to be the best version of yourself will only start with the support of self- love within. From there you have to keep going by questioning everything you think you know until you eliminate all your limiting beliefs on your self and the world out there.

This journey won’t go any further if you are not ready to keep on learning and face your fears.

You can only be your best version by knowing that you value in life depend on what is inside you. Therefore, it is important to eliminate everything that forces you to go for outside validation.

Once you know all this then it is time to apply the power of forgiveness, imagination, and gratitude and know your self.

All the above steps will take to the level of awareness where you know how to observe and experience life without ever judging or attaching us to anything. And that’s when you will know your answers to the ultimate question in life – how to be the best version of yourself?

I know this has been a long journey and all the points above need some more explanations. That’s why we will discuss all those points in the following weeks. But in the meantime kindly let me know your opinions. After all, life is all about learning, right?

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Kemi // Finestewards
5 months ago

Wow ! What a detailed post.
For me, loving myself came as a result of knowing and understanding that God loves me first. That changed the game and everything changed.
Therefore i am grateful.

5 months ago

I totally agree, especially on the “stepping out of our comfort zone” part!
Excellent article keep it up 👍🏾!

5 months ago

Very insightful post. We carry many limiting beliefs from our childhoods and the influence of family members and our community. You make many good points with how our best version has to do with the willingness to let go and consider a new perspective. Thank you for the inspiring conversation.

Rashmi Agrawal
5 months ago

Insightful! We adopt rules from our family and culture as the truth of the world which are the limiting beliefs. This one post is an eye-opener. Thanks

5 months ago

Very thorough post and great advice. I have definitely been guilty of plenty of limiting thoughts.

Crystal Green
5 months ago

These are all great points. It’s hard to forgive, but it’s more for us than the other person. You’ve provided us with loads of motivation to strive to be the version of ourselves.

5 months ago

Long and Amazing post. I am ready to anything to reach my potential. Your article gives me some motivation. Thank you so much

5 months ago

Great write up and really great effort to think through this and explain it so beautifully. I loved all the quotes you pulled up. Great thought process. Keep up the great work. In my experience self care leads and me-time leads to more self awareness, introspection and insights. Not everything gets clarified, there are always questions. But again that’s the beauty of it to!!

5 months ago

That was bit long but good one.liked it

Mamphana Molotsi
Mamphana Molotsi
5 months ago


Samberine Everose
5 months ago

Good article, you have a point.,but something you forgot to mention,.buddy, cause we can’t be the best version of ourselves if we are not connected to our Maker., because He is the only one who knows every thing about and each one of us..self love can’t make us grow, we need others to grow..

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